Unsettling

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Recently, I encountered an old friend who unsettled me deeply – so much so that I feel compelled to write about it. This ‘friend’ reveled something to me that was better left unsaid because it was completely ridiculous and far fetched. However, it wasn’t this that unsettled me. it was the approach – it was very negative and designed to hurt me and challenge my self esteem. This caused me instant rage. When someone delivers ‘news’ about incidents that are over 20 years old, generally, they are for closure – not to open a new wound and try to swoop in and be the hero. See – that does not work, so, when it was reveled to me that an old flame may have done some kissing and telling – I found it funny – but it was meant to cut and the messenger wanted to be able to comfort me. WTF? I would not have thought it possible that someone would not assume that we all grow and change and that the past is well….past.

Clearly, this ‘old friend’ is not a friend and the only thing that hurt me was that I have to take it because the situation would have ruined something special for someone else. I guess that’s why I am passive aggressively expunging it here. I’m hoping this cures me…..

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2 responses to “Unsettling

  1. ugh…sounds like that “friend” is still living in the past, and that is truly sad. My first reaction to the situation is “How can you even trust this person’s perceptions 20 years later?” Memories have a way of getting exaggerated over time, dramatized and embellished to the point where they have very little resemblance to reality. I’m not sure what the exact “news” was, but I’m willing to bet it was a minor thing that this “friend” blew out of proportion in order to elicit a reaction from you. It sucks, but then sometimes, people suck. Vent if you need to..and then push it out of your mind because it’s probably B.S. anyway.

  2. You are absolutely correct on so many levels – and I had no reaction to the so-called ‘news’ just to the way it was delivered with an intention to be hurtful – and I knew it while it was happening. It was quite shocking to me. That’s the part that I needed to get out so that I can let it all go. Anyway, I probably won’t see this person again – I haven’t in about 10 years, so, it’s likely that I won’t run into them any time soon….and thanks for your advice 🙂

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